🔥 Brutally honest. Actionably specific.

Your Landing Page Is Leaking Money. Let's Fix It.

Get a ruthless CRO audit of your landing page + a complete rewrite that actually converts. Delivered in 48 hours. No fluff, no theory — just a page that prints money.

$497 one-time • delivered in 48 hrs
Roast My Page 🔥

100% money-back if you're not blown away

✓ 2.4x more conversions
⚡ 48hr delivery
🔥 CRO Audit Score: 34/100

Headline is feature-focused, not pain-focused

You're describing what it does, not why they need it

No social proof above the fold

Visitors bounce before seeing your testimonials

CTA is vague and weak

"Get Started" tells them nothing about the outcome

You're Driving Traffic to a Page That Doesn't Convert

You're spending money on ads, content, SEO. People are landing on your page. And then... nothing. They leave. Here's why:

🎯

Wrong Message

Your headline talks about features. Visitors want outcomes. They leave in 3 seconds because you didn't hit their pain.

🤷

No Trust

Where's the proof? If visitors don't see social proof fast, they assume you're unproven — and bounce.

😴

Weak CTA

"Sign Up" and "Get Started" are invisible. Your CTA should create urgency and promise a specific outcome.

Here's Exactly What You Get

Not a generic checklist. A complete, ready-to-deploy transformation.

📋

Ruthless CRO Audit

Line-by-line breakdown of what's killing your conversions. Every weak headline, missing trust signal, and buried CTA — called out with specific fixes.

📝

Complete Page Rewrite

Not suggestions — actual new copy. Headlines, subheads, CTAs, social proof sections, objection handlers. Ready to copy-paste.

🎨

Layout Recommendations

Where to put what, and why. Backed by conversion data, not guesswork. Includes visual hierarchy fixes.

🎁

Full HTML (If Requested)

Want the whole thing built out? I'll deliver a complete, responsive HTML page you can deploy immediately.

How It Works

Simple. Fast. No calls, no questionnaires, no BS.

1

You Pay

$497, one-time. No subscriptions, no upsells.

2

Send Your URL

Reply to the confirmation email with your landing page link.

3

I Roast It

Deep-dive audit + complete rewrite. No stone unturned.

4

You Deploy

Get everything in 48 hours. Copy, paste, convert.

Real Example

ReviewRoket: Before & After

A SaaS landing page for a review management tool. Here's what I found — and fixed.

Before
  • Generic headline: "Grow Your Business with Better Reviews"
  • No CTA above the fold
  • Social proof buried at the bottom
  • Best feature hidden in a testimonial
  • No urgency or scarcity
  • Pricing shown before value established
After
  • Pain-first headline: "Your Competitors Are Stealing Your Customers"
  • Bold CTA with free trial above the fold
  • Social proof immediately visible (127k+ reviews collected)
  • "Negative review filter" as hero feature
  • Limited spots + urgency in announcement bar
  • ROI calculator before pricing

"I've paid agencies $5k+ for landing page work that wasn't half this good. The audit alone was worth it — but the complete rewrite? That's what made me a customer for life."

CM
Cameron M. Founder, ReviewRoket

Questions

What if I don't like it?

Full refund, no questions asked. But that's never happened. When you see your current page torn apart with surgical precision, and a better version sitting next to it — you'll know it's worth every penny.

Do I need to get on a call?

Nope. No discovery calls, no strategy sessions, no "let's align on goals." You send your URL, I roast it, you get a better page. That's it.

What types of pages do you roast?

SaaS landing pages, agency sites, product pages, service business homepages. If it's meant to convert visitors into customers, I can make it better.

Can you build the page for me?

Yes — if you want the full HTML delivered (not just the copy), just mention it when you send your URL. Same price, same timeline.

How is this so cheap?

No account managers, no project coordinators, no "stakeholder alignment meetings." Just me, doing the work. That's why it's fast, focused, and fairly priced.

Stop Leaving Money on the Table

Every day your current page is live, you're losing conversions. Let's fix it this week.

Roast My Page — $497

100% money-back guarantee